That’s it. I’m done.
That look must have been on my face when I went to see Ted, my physical therapist.
“What’s going on?” he asks.
I practically burst into tears. I bet many of you have felt this frustration too.
I’ve been patient. I’ve followed orders. I’ve done the work. I want to be HEALED and back to full function. Check out this video I made after I left my appointment. You can tell I’m still pretty upset.
I’m NOT THERE YET. I keep having setbacks = my knee swells and gets stiff.
Today, Ted measured my knee at 115 degrees…that’s less than my 120-125 before. UGH. I cry. I feel like I’ve been doing the right things.
AND then the truth comes out…
TED: What did you do last week to make your knee stiff?
ROBIN: I did my first group strength training class. All approved moves and we did side lunges.
TED: Have WE done side lunges yet?
ROBIN: (sheepishly) No…
TED: Did you ride more than 45 minutes on a bike?
ROBIN: Not all at once. BUT I did ride 3 hours split into 4 chunks yesterday.
TED: How is 3 hours in one day not more than 45 minutes? (Then he gives me a look like I’m insane).
Ted goes on to say that while the rest of me is strong and able, my knee still has to catch up. If I keep pushing too hard, I’ll continue to have setbacks. And more frustration.
We went through my list of approved moves for this next week.
Here’s what’s new:
Plus my moves from last week…
Then EVIL TED made me look him in the eyes and PROMISE not to do more than this. Should I tell you how hard that was? I almost couldn’t do it, but committed in the end.
After my PT session, I ran into a friend. And she had wise words, even though she didn’t know it a the time, she helped me to get my mind right:
My knee joint no longer hurts and that, in itself, is a miracle. I need to have patience with the rest of the healing process. After all, I gave up my trusted but arthritic knee for which my body had adapted everything for 56 years. Now my body has to get used to a new way the knee moves.
– Of course my collateral ligaments are sore.
– Of course my quadriceps tendon (which was cut open) needs time to heal.
– Of course my knee cap, which was inverted and scraped out, needs time to feel good again.
I promise not to rush.
I will do my best to the right amount (not too little, not to much)
And in the end I will heal faster for it.
I hope you’ll keep these words in mind as you heal too.